i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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