Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
