That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
