can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
