I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
