Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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