ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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