Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
