Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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