i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Say something about gay babies.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
