u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Me too!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
