Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
