five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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