I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
