That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
