when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
