Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
dude. I can hear the air.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
