thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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