dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
