Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
