and she was petting her beer can
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
