Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
