call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
