i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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