She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
