More tranny stories later!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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