I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
