I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Michael Bay diarrhea
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
