Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
