My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
