Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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