i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
