My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
