she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
They have beer where we have blood.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
