I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
