I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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