I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
