im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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