so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Randomize
