What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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