is wine microwaveable?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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