How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
