just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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