the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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