He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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