They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
