He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
there is glitter all over my balls
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
