Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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