There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I booty called her while she was in labor.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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