My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
