You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Houston, we have a blender
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
