My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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