Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
